Five Years

The 20th marks Ben and I's 5th wedding anniversary. I cannot believe that is has both been that long, and only that long. It seems to feel like more time or less time on any given day.

Now, 5 years is not very long in the grand scheme of things, so this list that I wanted to share with you is probably not a very good one. I certainly wouldn't call is sage advice, and those older and longer-married women reading this are probably laughing at my silliness at thinking I know very much after 5 years. Especially since I still have a hard time following my own advice sometimes. But, here it is anyways.

What I've learned - so far - about being married (and wanting to stay that way):

1. Respect first. Always, always show respect. For their thoughts, feelings, ideas, body, everything. If there is no respect then the rest of it is hard to follow. That means keeping your mouth shut when they are talking (hard for me), not laughing at their ideas, and realizing that their fears need something other than "oh, don't worry about it".

2. It's not about you. Do you know the true meaning of "love"? Most people think of love as that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you look at/touch/are with someone. The dictionary defines love as "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person". But true, pure love is the act of giving of one's self, one's desires, one's comfort, even one's life, for the good and happiness of the other. Focusing on what the other wants, and not what you want from the other, will give more peace and happiness than getting what you think you want. (Even if it's not easy.) I hear lots of people talk about how much they love their spouse. Then why are you so upset when you don't get your way? (I've been guilty of this myself!)


3. Play. Playing - in whatever fashion you choose - will mean the world to your marriage. Go out. Go do things. Have fun. Remember what brought you to be married in the first place. 


4. The children DO NOT come first. In fact, no earthly being should come before your spouse. I've tried very hard in the time we've been married to make sure that the kids do not come first. And while I've probably failed sometimes, I think I've done a pretty good job. That means when your spouse wants something, you drop what you're doing with little Johnny and do what they want. Your child will not suffer. In fact, they'll be blessed and happy knowing they have parents who love each other so much.


5. Be patient. Now, y'all know I'm not a very patient person. And goodness knows I've been given a lot in my life that tests that fact (three boys!). But it's important to practice patience in marriage. That means not getting angry (or trying not to). That means waiting, happily and quietly, for them to make a decision. That means knowing that yes, your husband (or wife) really does know what he's doing so just let him do it. Aaaand it also means that even if he doesn't know what he's doing (and you do), let him figure it out and don't jump in to spout off your opinion (another sin of mine).
  
And, if you are the female in the marriage:


6. You do not wear the pants. Being submissive and letting Ben be the head of our household is not terribly difficult for me (*cough* most of the time), because I have great trust in my husband and I know he is a good leader. But, sometimes it is hard to remember that our role as women is to be the secondary person. We are supposed to take direction, not give it. And when you get an answer that is your answer! Even if you don't agree with it. This one final thought sums up all the other thoughts. Being respectful, loving (remember the true meaning!), and patient I think are the key points to letting your husband run the house. I have heard of women complaining that their husbands never lead, never guide the family. Well...


Do you let them?


Now go! Be married!


Wishing you all a wonderful, love filled week,
Meg

Culling Of The Clothes

It's that time of year again. Spring cleaning. And over this winter I noticed something.

I washed way more clothing than I should have. And every time I open the boys' closet I see way more clothing than they actual wear.

I love purging things. I always feel so much better when I've gotten rid of extra clutter. But I have a hard time with clothes. Especially those stinkin' cute baby clothes (even though we have 5 jillion articles of baby clothing). Always thinking "Oh, they'll wear it someday" or "That shirt is cute (even though it cuts off the circulation to my arms)" or "Hey, it's good to have extras". But I read this post about laundry on Like Mother, Like Daughter and now I know what I must do.

Get rid of the clothes.

Well, not all of them, since nudity is frowned upon in modern society. But a lot of them. Even I, who has purged our closet a few times since we moved here (and that was only 2 years ago!), still have more clothes than I wear. And since I aim for a simpler, less-stuff lifestyle, they've gotta go!

Since I leave Ben's clothing alone because he's a big boy and can make his own choices, this will be for the kids and I. Mostly the kids. I'll try to make it happen over the next few weeks.

My goal for each person is
- 1 week's worth of shirts (maybe a week each of short and long sleeve)
- 2 long pants, 2-3 shorts
- 2-3 skirts (for me, obviously)
- 2 weeks worth of underwear
- 2 weeks worth of socks (less for me, since I don't wear them as much)
- 1 to 2 nice "Sunday" outfits for going out
- 1 light jacket
- 1 heavy jacket
- For me: 3-5 dresses, because I'm finding I love them greatly
- 1 to 2 sets of pajamas

Clothes that are clean do not need to be washed. Meaning my children tend to wear shirts and shorts for 3-4 days, unless they're outside a lot in the dirt. Or Duder, who likes to use his shirt as a serving dish. When they're dirty they go in the basket. You can avoid doing copious amounts of laundry by just putting away things that aren't heavily soiled. This will also make them last longer, as constant machine washing and drying will wear clothes out.

Now! How to purge one's closet (or at least how I do it):

1. Make four piles - Keep, Donate, Storage, Trash. Fairly self explanatory.
Keep is things that will go back in the dresser/closet.
Donate will go to Goodwill/Salvation Army/etc. If you can be especially picky, you can save things for use as fabric. I'll save shirts and jeans to use for repairing other items sometimes.
Storage is for those items that you know will be used later (like children's clothes for hand-me downs, sizes not needed yet or out-of-season things). Not ones you hope you might fit into again. There will always be a chance to buy new clothes if needed in the future.
Trash is for those things that are not good enough for donations and can't be salvaged for material. Like stretched out underwear.

2. We're going to work in waves here. The first wave is to go through and just separate out the things that you'd like to keep (don't worry about size or anything yet) and things you want to get rid of. Place the things you're getting rid of in the appropriate pile (donate or trash).

3. Wave two is going through the Keep pile of the first wave and see what fits or is in season. Keep the appropriate things, store the others, and donate or trash the rest accordingly. You can do it quickly, as we'll be going through things one more time.

4. Now we have wave three, which is the hardest. Really, honestly, look at what you've kept (this means the storage pile too!).
Have you worn it in the past year? No? Get rid of it. Even if you feel it holds sentimental value, just get rid of it!
Can you (or your child) honestly fit into that?
Do you have work clothes, but are a stay-at-home-momma? You can get new clothes if you return to the work force. Someone who needs them can use them if you donate it to a thrift store.
Is it grotesquely out of style? I'm not one for following trends, but nobody wears shoulder pads or leather pants anymore. 
Are you keeping those jeans that now have a big hole on the left butt cheek just because your now-husband told you at 17 they looked good on you? Throw them away.
Be honest, be brutal. Take no prisoners!

5. Now, quickly, and without looking at it too closely, bag or box up the storage pile, label it if you can, and put it away. Place the donation pile in a bag or box and go put it in your car. Take the trash pile to the trash. Don't take things out of those piles to put back in the closet! Stick with your first instinct!

Aaaah, doesn't that feel better?

We've gone through things 3 different times to hopefully make it less painful. First, the quick and dirty, easy decisions. Then, the more careful, but still easy decisions. And lastly, the honest decisions that deal with a smaller pile.

Now you can go about your merry way, doing less laundry and not suffocating every time you walk into the closet. Your children will be easier to dress when you/they have less options to deal with, and your storage areas will feel less crazy when you don't have boxes and boxes of clothing that won't be worn.

The question of getting new clothes arises: The kids get new things for Christmas/Birthdays, or you buy a new sweater. Swap them for something you already have. Take something out before you put something else in. Donate it, or if it's kid clothes that can be worn by younger ones, go put it in storage. Just try not to let the accumulation of mountains of clothing happen again!

Happy Purging,
Meg

Finished Knit: Little Bracelets

With all the Blogger craziness yesterday, I'm glad I didn't post this already and lose it.

This is just a few bracelets I made for my niece's birthday. She's such a girly little thing, and I thought she needed some bracelets and a pretty bag to put them in. She's turned two, with a new little sister, so I stayed away from beading even though I wanted to put it on. Just in case. Just some simple i-cord, only about 5 inches around.

Pattern: I-cord bracelets by Meg

Yarn: Assorted yarns - tiny bits

Needles: US 1/2.25mm Susan Bates Quicksilver DPNs

Knitline: May 10th - May 11th

YTD Mileage: These were such tiny bits of yarn they only weighed about 2 grams total for all of them, so I won't count them for the mileage.

Happy Knitting,

Meg

Yarn Along

One of the shawls I'm working on at the moment is the Around The World in 80 Days mystery shawl. I've had to frog and reknit it after Duder... "helped". I'm really in love with this color though. It's more of a reddish purple in person than this almost black purple (the color way is "Raisin"  and it's spectacular.

I think I should probably post a picture of what I'm not reading right now, since it would have been easier to pick a book. But the one I'm reading the most at the moment is the More-With-Less cookbook. I've not made it past the beginning yet, and I don't really agree with the "meat bad! saturated fat evil! eat less meat!" vibe I'm getting, but I'm excited to get into the recipes and find out other ways for cheaper eating.

Joining Ginny's Yarn Along today.

Happy knitting (and reading),
Meg

Monday, Monday, Monday

Good morning, my friends!

I hope you all had a lovely Mother's day!

We had a nice, lazy day doing not much but watching movies. It was a very nice day. We don't usually lay around like that on Sundays, but it was much needed this week since Ben is still working 10 hour days, 6 days a week.

We had waffles for breakfast and Sunday chicken for dinner. I spent the day just doing normal things - tidying up, washing dishes, etc (plus the movies). I think the best way (for me, at least) to spend Mother's day is just by being a mother. And that includes the usual daily activities.

Today is cleaning and laundry day. It's too cold today for clothes on the line. Well, ok, I could probably get away with it, but today I feel like getting the laundry done quickly.

I have to tell you all the story of our cat, since I haven't done that yet. It's a good one too.

Photograph by my sister.

This is our cat, Stan, a few months ago. We got Stan from some family last August, since they were trying to get rid of the kittens and Ben loves grey cats.

Well, about three months ago I see some neighborhood cats doing... well, some "unsavory" things to Stan. I was horribly disgusted about it. I thought our cat was... confused. Ben told me, after talking to someone at work about it, that sometimes these happen in order to establish dominance. That didn't make me feel better at all. We talked about getting rid of the cat.

During this time, we notice that our cat is eating more. And getting fatter. I mean, really fat. And staying home.

And we start thinking... Maybe Stan's not a Stan. Maybe Stan is a girl. A few searches on the internet and a trip to the vet tells us that:

Baby belly.

Stan is indeed a girl, and we're pretty sure she's preggo. I laughed so hard. All this time, we thought Stan was a boy, but things didn't make sense. We kept waiting for "him" to spray things (since we hadn't gotten around to getting him fixed, obviously). He was not manly at all. And the yowling... Oh gosh the yowling should have been a big sign. Well, now we know for sure.

So now we're on kitten watch, waiting for her to pop. I figure this will prepare me for birthing larger animals later, if we ever get any. And no, we're not changing her name! She knows her name to be Stan, we're all used to calling her Stan. So Stan she shall stay, but now it's short for "Stanalina". ;)

The Garden groweth! I'm putting up wide shots today so you can really see how things are growing. In this bed we have beans on the left (green and pinto), corn in the middle and squash on the right (zucchini, spaghetti, and yellow). Canteloupe is in the bottom right corner, and there's spinach sprinkled in the bottom left. I need to do another batch of corn and replace some spinach and didn't sprout.

This bed has our tomatoes, which are surrounded by crushed eggshells to prevent blossom rot. I'll be getting some more for the rest of the squares in the front. You can see the onions going crazy in the back too. My basil isn't coming up (I think it's too cold still) and cilantro is the in back two corners, but it hasn't sprouted either.

And our lettuce bed! It will be our lettuce and potato bed eventually, but right now it's just lettuce. It's going crazy too! I'm very excited about lettuce, since I love salads almost as much as I love butter (I know, extremely different foods). I've reseeded any bare spots, so hopefully we'll be swimming in lettuce soon!

Things that also need to planted, which I'll buy plants for, are peppers and we're thinking we'll make the little bed a purely berry bed and get more blueberries and boysenberries. They seem to be quite happy there. I'm even getting more blooms on the boysenberries!

I have shawls, shawls, and more shawls that I'm working on. But that will be a different post!

Happy Monday,
Meg