April 8, 2011

A Day in The Life

A very rare moment of quiet and stillness. This is not today.

Some people think that being a stay at home mom is sittin'-on-your-butt easy.

To those people I say:


Today's incomplete list of the day's happenings is brought to you by the letter B. As in, "Mommy needs a lot of Booze right now."

-We argue about what we're having for breakfast. You have option A or option B. Someone wants an un-available option C, the other wants an unavailable option D. Duder doesn't care as long as he gets food. We settle for extra pancakes from yesterday.

-I play "STAY OUT OF THE GARAGE!!" with Duder 50 times.

-The twins constantly fight about something. Or  fight with Duder about something. Or fuss about Duder looking at them wrong. (He's really good at being the pesky little brother.)

-I contemplate buying stock in Duct Tape.

-I find Duder "cooking", by sitting on the kitchen counter and putting salt in a pan on the stove. It was off. No burns, just messy. And wasted salt.

-I play "STAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM SINK!! NO WATER!!" with Duder 20 times.

-We argue about what we're eating for lunch. Today, J argues that he wants breakfast. But you already had breakfast and it's lunch time. No, I want breakfast! Duder doesn't care as long he gets food. We settle for cheese sandwiches and strawberries.

-Duder has learned to open doors and nothing but a locked one deters him from getting into things. Unfortunately mommy forgets they're locked, and runs into them rather hard when trying to open them.

-Duder eats from the trash. (If I didn't know better, I'd say we have a goat gene somewhere in the family line.)

-I text daddy and tell him that if he has to work tomorrow I am going to cry.

-Nap time. I spend the next 20 minutes putting Duder back in his bed and telling him "No toys! Nap time! Be quiet and go to sleep."

-After an hour of getting some things done -including scarfing down lunch - I try for a nap while they're supposedly asleep. 20 minutes later, the door opens and they come bounding out of their room.

- I play "STAY OUT OF THE GARAGE!!" with Duder another 10 times.

-I hear the cat scream from the boy's room and find him huddled in a corner, and Duder covering a cat scratch, while J tries to explain that they were making him a "cat house".

-T sticks an airsoft gun pellet in his ear. It is retrieved, thankfully, with tweezers.

-I pull Duder off the kitchen counter a few more times.

-The cup of tea I poured myself this morning is sitting cold and half finished. I have yet to finish a cup while it is still hot this week.

See you in the crazy house,


Farm Girl said...

I am sure it was all a very bad dream, I do not know those children you are writing about. The ones I know are perfect angels and you have evidence. That picture of 3 very well behaved boys sitting on the couch reading books.
Too bad though about the cat, that cat just didn't like that kind of kitty house. :)

Allison said...


This could be my life on any given day... well, about 4 years ago. My littlest is seven now, so things have changed some, but life is still that crazy.

I totally believe you - and join you in the HAHAHAHAHAHAHA fest. I shall HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH with you for as long as you want!

I loved this post from start to finish. Wish I could pass you a nice crystal glass of strawberry wine! (If you put a little elegance and class on it, no one thinks of it as booze, but you get the same effect.) :D

Allison said...

p.s. Is that little blond on the right Duder? His face is priceless... so, this is the salt, garage, sink, garbage man? :)


Sue said...

If it is any comfort, been there done this, thanks for the memory! Your sons are adorable, I agree with Kim, they are to angelic.
Great and funny read!


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